Uh, we're gathered here today to join these two people in marriage. The question often asked in our time is, "Why marriage?" The answer is hard to see, but as obvious as a heartbeat to feel. We marry to have a friend, a lover. We marry to deny solitude's cold hands on us. We marry because after all the other, uh, alternatives have been explored, we still want to, and need to, and must.
I bet you all thought I was gonna screw up didn't you?